Mourning the loss of Pope Francis
I am a mess of emotions today, waking up to the news that Pope Francis, my favorite pope of all time and the man who I saw as the moral compass for good in the world, had died. I needed to be productive today. I needed to grade. I need to write a paper for my spiritual direction program. I needed to workout.
Instead, I found photos I took of Pope Francis when he came to Joint Base Andrews in his visit to Washington, D.C. back in September of 2015, re-edited them and mourned, reading about his life, thinking about how he spent his last days, and what a gift he was to the world. For me, he symbolized a way of thinking showing that all people mattered and he tried to push some of the boundaries that existed in the church. I admired him for rejecting the formal papal residence, for wearing just a white cassock, for adhering to those Jesuit values.
I saw in him someone who challenged me to find God in all things, and I saw him challenge his fellow priests to be a bit more Ignatian if they didn’t come from that way of thinking. He was brave, allowing himself to be out there with his people. He saw the dignity of all people; even in his final days, you saw him ministering to those in prison, those who were faithful, and those who ideas he didn’t agree with.
I know he was not perfect, but he pushed us all to be better. He was not a leader who was wrapped up in power.
I love what Barack Obama said: “Pope Francis was the rare leader who made us want to be better people. In his humility and his gestures at once simple and profound – embracing the sick, ministering to the homeless, washing the feet of young prisoners – he shook us out of our complacency and reminded us that we are all bound by moral obligations to God and one another.”
I grieve today. I took my son outside with my macro camera looking for tiny but beautiful things in our yard. And we saw so much beauty in the tiniest parts of nature in our own backyard. I pushed myself to go outside and grade so I could feel the breeze, hear the birds, and remove myself from the distractions of the television and my cell phone. I let myself cry while watching the news, finally releasing the sadness that is on my heart. I looked for God’s beauty in the tiny and in the ordinary.
Pope Francis, thank you for inspiring me and for making me want to be a better follower of Jesus. Thank you for modeling what it means to be a servant leader. Thank you for being a role model for finding God in the ordinary.
Just now, my son found me outside, gave me a hug, and said, “You’re lucky.” I hugged him back and said, “I am lucky.” As he leaned into my hug back, he said, “I’m lucky, too.”
God, there you are in the ordinary… reminding me in photos and hugs that you are everywhere, and while we may have lost my beloved leader, goodness is still in my backyard..
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